What if Mary Was a Helicopter Mom?

Letting Go

While you are reading this I am seven (but who's counting?) states away from home moving my daughter into college. My baby girl who I just gave birth to yesterday is moving out and starting a new journey. Apart from me. 

"It's a new beginning!" "How exciting for her!" "This is a good thing!" My friends and family say to cheer me up. Yes, they are correct. Yes, I am excited for her future. Yet, there is also a little girl inside of me wanting to hold on to my baby girl and not let her go, which made me wonder, What if Mary, the mother of Jesus, was a helicopter mom?

Watching Jesus through Mary’s Eyes

I know it is kind of a funny question. Let me bring you back to last spring when this question first popped into my head. I was sitting in the pews of my childhood parish on Good Friday during a re-enactment of the stations of the cross. I was sad knowing my daughter was probably about to choose a college far from home and this would be the last Easter with her for a long time. With a heavy heart I started watching the stations of the cross through Mary's eyes. I tried to feel Jesus' crucifixion through Mary's heart and tried to connect with her strength. From an honest and heavy corner of my heart, the little girl inside me tearfully whispers to Mary, 

Did you ever let the fear and sadness get the best of you?
Did you ever want to say, 'Don't be out too late, Jesus, I need you here with me.'
Or, 'Don't say that, you'll offend someone and get hurt.'
Did your momma bear instinct ever feel tempted to hold Jesus tight and never let him go? 

All of a sudden I think, What if Mary was a helicopter mom?  

What if Mary Was a Helicopter Mom

According to Wikipedia, the definition of a helicopter mom is a parent who pays extremely close attention to a child's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. For the record, I do not like the phrase because it is one more term for moms to use against one another. Yet, while I was sitting with my sadness during that Good Friday service that is the term that came to me.

At first when that question popped into my head I kind of laughed but then I decided to go deeper into reflection with it. What if Mary was controlling (and if it was a time when she could have the power to be controlling) and she never let Jesus out of her sight? What if Mary held onto Jesus for herself and didn't want him out teaching? What if she was too scared to let Jesus go and never allowed him to develop into all God called him to be? What if she made sure he never suffered? 

Mary’s Letting Go

We know the answer to those questions. And because of the answers to those questions, we can draw strength from Mary's letting go. Her letting go meant there was a lot of vulnerability, fear, heartbreak, and suffering but it also meant there was a lot of new life, new hope, new meaning, and new growth. 

Mary had to let Jesus live his own journey apart from Mary. If she kept him close to her for her own needs, he would have never developed into all God created him to be for us. I am not trying to compare my daughter to Jesus but I am trying to draw strength in all the beauty and life that comes from letting go and empowering someone to be all they are created to be. As I let go of my daughter, I know that I am creating a space for her to grow and thrive. I know that growth has to be done apart from me. 

Making Room for New Life

As I let go I am making room for new life to take root in me and I am looking forward to that as well. Is there something you are ready to let go of so you can make room for new growth in you? 

As I am writing this I am staring at a picture of Mary above my desk. She has a look of quiet strength and unwavering trust with a knowing eye that seems to look past the here and now. It is a trusting gaze towards a future that holds new life. Through that knowing eye, I see humility - an understanding that God is in this place right here with me and I am one small part of a bigger picture. If I can let go and allow things to unfold new life will surely bloom in my daughter and in me. 

God, help me feel your comfort and strength as I place my baby girl into your hands. I know she was always yours but I haven't always acted like it. Now, I'm ready. I can let go because I know you're with me and I know you're with her. I'm ready to witness and experience this new life unfold. Amen.